It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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