She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Barsexuality is the new black.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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