Pants 0. Shit 1.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
