Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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