Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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