college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize