Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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