I want to make a zoo with you.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
