What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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