Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
