if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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