its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
