Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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