Kiss
Puke
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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