4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
