I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize