wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
