And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
