It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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