i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize