No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
