barbara walters just said penis...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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