Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
