Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
