Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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