There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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