if you like me you must not know who I am
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize