Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
