hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
