Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
