Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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