so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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