White coat. Heels.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
