dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
