I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
