I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
