4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
