Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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