I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need to align my fucking chakras
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
