thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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