Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have aggressive nipples.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
