Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
