Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
