Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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