just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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