she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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