Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
