i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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