I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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