Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
