the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
