I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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