I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize