Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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