I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
