My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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