Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
