she was so not down for the gang bang
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
